butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
