So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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