he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize