last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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