Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
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