I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
