i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Randomize
