is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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