Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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