Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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