I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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