alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
