you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
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