oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
