Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
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