that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
