the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
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