You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
