doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
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