Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
We need to get me chipped asap
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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