And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize