So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
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