Just fell off a train. Bad.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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