Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize
