smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
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