So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Vodka?
Forever.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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