i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
