remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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