hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
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