I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
