ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
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I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
The power of my boobs compel you
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
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