he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
