Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
