It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
Randomize