I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Randomize
