I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
