this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
