i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
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