Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
