You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Randomize
