I wish I could teleport
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
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