He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
