dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
