As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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