Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
