he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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