apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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