this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Randomize
