Just mADE A PArabola og urine
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize
