Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
We are two peas in an std pod
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Randomize
