Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I'm sobbing to NWA
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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