Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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