Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
