He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
