Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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