He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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