bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
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