it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Randomize
