they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Shame - the story of my life.
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