never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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