i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
this is an emotional support booty call
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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