You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Randomize
