We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
We had sex on a dog bed..
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Randomize
