i can't believe i had my finger in that
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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